Wednesday, April 22, 2009

How I Celebrated Earthday 2009

Well..I started a day early actually. I started celebrating yesterday. Let me go through how I spent the day worshipping...
First I used my gas powered 5hp mower [oooh evil fossil fuels!] and cut the grass all the while listening to the yard screaming in abject terror and pain. I then took out the weed eater and added insult to injury by edging the yard and listening to the dirt and grass moved by it scream. I then fired up my leaf blower and blew it all either into the yard or out in the street. [pollute pollute pollute!..hehehehehehee] I then wasted water and actually washed *gasp!* my fathers car, followed by drying it and using unenvironmentaly friendly chemicals to clean the windows. After that was done. I fired up my 4burner propane grill and spent 2 glorious hours sending smoke into the sky burning wood chips...for added flavor..and environnmental terror...and listening to the sound of various vegetables and pieces of animal flesh sizzle as they hit the hot grill. Smelled the glorious smell of various bits of vegetable matter and flesh charring on the grill. Sent [as aforementioned] glorious billows of smoke up into the sky..thereby pleasing the fire AND sky gods.
What got murdered on the grill you ask?I hall tell you..
a couple of 1/3lb burger patties, 2lbs or thereabouts of chicken fajita, another 2lbs or thereabouts of steak fajita meat, a couple of ears of corn[left in the husk and soaked first], 2 zuchin,[covered with EVOO and sprinkled with various spices, a half an onion and 3 bell peppers done the same as the zuchini.

I will continue in this vein tonight[in about 35minutes as a matter of fact]
I'm doing a nice little roast [about 2lbs..dry rubbed with various and sundry things] and a couple baked[read grilled] potatoes. In about 10mins I will be turning on the flames and putting on the woodchips to start screaming in abject pain and terror. *evil chuckle* followed by the simpering and sizzling of said roast and potatoes.

Hmm seeing as how I have to take my evil fossil fueled SUV and go grocery shopping tomorrow.. I may be inspired to get enough meat and edible things, that I can keep it up all week....hmmmm..a nice slowcooked brisquet for dinner on Sunday sounds like a slamdunk grand finale I think..[nom nom nom]

Ahhh meat is murder..TASTY, TASTY murder. nom nom nom nom *evil chuckle*

Hmmm maybe I should have titled this entry how I infuriated the eco-freaks? *shrug* oh well..calling me politcally correct is like putting a telephone in an outhouse....I'll leave you wondering..What the Hell?

TTFN my friends


  1. I enjoyed your "earth day massacre", and particularly your wisdom about what to do with 75% of the politicians. I think we need to give some non-politicians a ticket as well. Do I get to help you choose which ones???? Let's start with the arrogant ones that never respond to an email...

    Harry Reid, Al Gore, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Nancy Pelosi, Diane Feinstein, .....

    Keep protesting!

    Bud from WSTH

  2. :) verily..I HATE professional politcians.


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